Is it really okay...?

these days I have been feeling.. not like myself today.

I feel like I'm losing the grips of everything that I have to take care. I feel like I've lost my ability to control my life.

Moreover, everyone keeps saying that everything is going to be alright. But is it really?

I hate it when I'm confused about my own life, and I keep postponing it. I kept thinking that I can do this or that since my fields of study is pretty broad. But can I really be that carefree?

Can I really simply just don't care about people in my life and just move on with all I've got?


Of course I can't be selfish. I would never do that... But sometimes it's just tiring. It really is.


See what I mean when I said that I'm losing the grip of my own life? I lost the ability to prioritize. I feel so vulnerable, but yet there's no one to lean on. Well, not currently with me right now anyway.


And I just want to say that I give up. But I haven't given up, and my heart has not given up on me. I know I can do it. But I just hate this confusion. I want to move on. I want to know.



I hope November aren't going to stay like this forever. I really hope not.