the grim october

I've been so busy with everything since school starts.. I remember those two weeks before school started that I just sat around not doing anything, waiting to meet up with people and updating my resume, portfolio, as well as applying for jobs. While at the same time, I would be watching all these series marathon on tv.

oh, how productive.



But right now I am so busy, getting myself a job for after graduation in this horrid economic atmosphere, surviving through physiology midterm exams, doing my internship (which i'm actually really please to get!) while at the same time, manage my social life.

I told one of my close friends about how overwhelmed I am with the situation, and she said, "oh, typical you!" I wish I have a good response for that, because this time it was different. I actually wanted to give up.

To go into further details, I personally think it is the job-hunting that is tearing my typical spirit down. Despite the fact that I am, for most of the time, over worried about a lot of things in my life-- more specifically the things that are under my responsibilities, I have always been pushing myself to do better, to remain positive, and to do my best.

But last week, I didn't have the encouragement that I need. I was stressed out because I didn't have enough time to study. (Partially, I blamed my time management skills) And I have multiple exams coming up, and at the same time I have to attend all these information session about graduation jobs. I made it to most of the ones that I have planned to go. But in the end, found out that they don't accept international students.

I've been attending career fairs, info session, networking event, and yet I don't feel like I have a chance. Yes, there are some optimistic moments. I was still stressed out.

And, to dampen my situation, I also got sick.




Ughhhhh!




Then yesterday, one of my roommates, Anjali, told me that she admires my efforts in getting a job. I know that was not much of a compliment. But... it makes all the difference for me. She told me that her other international friends have given up at the first chance they could, but I was able to keep going even though it's like walking into the dark. That was really all I need. So thank you so much Anjali. Thank you so much.

So right now, I've decided to remain positive about everything. I mean, I even got the internship that I wanted, even though it's unpaid. But I think this is the opportunity to learn about a lot of social interactions that I've never experienced before. I'll get to work with families and children with terminal diseases. I'll experience sadness and loss of hope in a rather different way, but at the same time, I'll be creating events to put smiles on their faces.

So I've decided, to achieve that I should not be pessimistic about this whole situation. Maybe, I haven't been looking in the right place. (=






Here're some moments that cheer me up hopefully it could do the same thing to you.

On top of my apartment and one beautiful morning :)