dear friends,
who knows graduation can bring so many heartbreaks? yes, i'm back to pondering about saying goodbyes once again. But ever since the day I graduated on june 11th 2011. i used to believe that graduation brings happiness and new beginning. Starting another chapter of life should be exciting and mind-blowing. But here I am in Los Angeles, in fear and confusion.
its just that.. just now I was on the phone with my friend, who is on the journey home, after the four years of college in Oregon. She is finally going home to her family.
however, all i heard from heartbreaks. she was sobbing.. and I believe that when I have to move away from Seattle I'll cry my heart out. just like what she was going through. she has to part from her life here. from what she has here, from her friends and more importantly her love. how is that a good thing? people keeps telling me that goodbye is simply a new beginning, but what if I were never to see these faces again? experience these feeling I'm having right now again. What if...?
part of me is just using this excuse not to feel... anything. Not to feel lonely, scared, loved, or happiness. i feel like i don't have to be this stressed out. i just set these damn standard for myself that i never live up to. Yes, I believe that I can live up to it, but... I have never reached my own expectations. Yes, I'm just ranting.
maybe all i need is to let go. let myself love. let myself cry. let myself fail.
maybe that is all i need to do.
best,
emily alexandreta
who knows graduation can bring so many heartbreaks? yes, i'm back to pondering about saying goodbyes once again. But ever since the day I graduated on june 11th 2011. i used to believe that graduation brings happiness and new beginning. Starting another chapter of life should be exciting and mind-blowing. But here I am in Los Angeles, in fear and confusion.
its just that.. just now I was on the phone with my friend, who is on the journey home, after the four years of college in Oregon. She is finally going home to her family.
however, all i heard from heartbreaks. she was sobbing.. and I believe that when I have to move away from Seattle I'll cry my heart out. just like what she was going through. she has to part from her life here. from what she has here, from her friends and more importantly her love. how is that a good thing? people keeps telling me that goodbye is simply a new beginning, but what if I were never to see these faces again? experience these feeling I'm having right now again. What if...?
part of me is just using this excuse not to feel... anything. Not to feel lonely, scared, loved, or happiness. i feel like i don't have to be this stressed out. i just set these damn standard for myself that i never live up to. Yes, I believe that I can live up to it, but... I have never reached my own expectations. Yes, I'm just ranting.
maybe all i need is to let go. let myself love. let myself cry. let myself fail.
maybe that is all i need to do.
best,
emily alexandreta
